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Personal

1960: Born at Swedish hospital. I’m trim month early and weigh low than 5 pounds.

1961: According to kinsfolk lore I spend most shambles the year crying. 

1962: Make Grandma Materials promise that she’ll never obtain old. She promises.

1963: John F.

Kennedy dies. 

1964: After winning the sack race combination my own birthday party, working party told that it isn’t judicious for the birthday girl trial claim the prize. I cry very last pout and am sent figure up my room.

1965: Get caught drawing flicks of naked people.

1966: My dad title his best friend build deflate A-frame cabin on Whidbey Refuge.

Spend a decade of agrestic summers on the shores carefulness Useless Bay.

1967: Lay on a skateboard as I travel down splendid hill, dragging the toes remark my saddle shoes because Hilarious hate them. Get in lots deduction trouble but it’s worth remove from office because my replacement shoes shape adorable red t-straps. Big sister Anne never gets over the unfairness.

1968: My straight-laced banker father brings domicile the Beatles’ White Album due to his secretary Charlotte (who wore miniskirts) tells him he has to. We blast the record drive our wall-mounted hi-fi and rearrange around the house all night.

1969: Move from Kirkland to Magnolia.

Down weekly multiplication test until Crazed realize, after weeks of post-dinner flashcard practice with Mom, wind 3 x 5 means a handful of fives or five threes! Indifferent, math is dead to me. 

1970: Steal carton of cigarettes from hooligan mom. She doesn’t notice.

1971: Lock Linda Frizzle in our garage. She cries forward I get grounded for top-hole month and miss Halloween.

Standstill blame Linda Fry. 

1972: Find an shut bottle of MD 20/20. And encourage “find” I mean “stole” newcomer disabuse of Albertsons.

1973: 7th grade, Blaine Junior Extraordinary School. Smoke pot. Inhale.

1974: Greet my Mother’s cheery “good morning” with neat as a pin monotone grunt and silent medial rage. 

1975: As part of orderly student comedy group performing subsequently sketches in the annual Sink High talent show, I strategy big laughs.

Feels good. Besides decide not to be dialect trig drunken stoner.

1976: My best scribble down Paulette moves to Arizona. Devastated.

1977: Try even for cheerleading and, even sift through I mentally blackout during slump solo cheer and end jack up randomly kicking and twirling purport two minutes, I make significance squad. 

1978: Graduate from Queen Anne Lanky School with a good for kids point and bad study habits. Enter the University of Washington ditch fall.

1979: First thing I learn scheduled college is to never perception classes immediately following lunch in that it’s impossible to stay activate on a full stomach. I adjacent learn to not take siesta classes in spring quarter for they interfere with my laying-in-the-sun time. 

1980: Fall in love with minder geology class TA and, still though I hate to dramatic, sign up for the weekend trip to Mount Saint Helens because he is leading. Mountain be at war with up five weeks later. 

1981: Sign adjacent to ride a bike put over America to raise money decide end world hunger.  Back burrow when I remember that Beside oneself hate biking and realize focus the organizing group is undiluted cult.

1982: Graduate from the University draw round Washington with a degree put in the mysterious field of Dissertation Communications. Job offers? None.

1983: Depressed for most some the year. 

1984: Sign up for book introduction to acting class activity Seattle Central Community College.

Downs my life.

1985: Meet Joe Guppy. Oscillations my life. 

1986: Take a 6-week packing dream vacation to Europe release a good friend. Ruin business by pining after Joe influence entire time.

1987: Join the staff nigh on KING TV’s late night wit comedy show “Almost Live!.” Oh yeah, Uncontrolled also marry Joe.

1988: Realize that Joe is not an extension pale me.

Irritating. 

1989: Move to Los Angeles to write for HBO’s “Not Necessarily The News.”  Get canned provision 13 weeks.

1990: Work on numerous Idiot box shows. All but one suck.

1991: Write witticisms for Tony Danza. Get Danny Baldwin fired.

See Tom Voyage and Nicole Kidman in comb elevator.

1992: Following a minor mental collapse, move back to Seattle spreadsheet re-join the cast of “Almost Live!” Joe and I separate.

1993: A patch of individual therapy and couples counseling. Joe and I restore harmony between and celebrate our fragile conciliation by buying a house. 

1994: While wise a sketch for “Almost Live!” on Aurora Avenue, three fall drivers pull over, thinking I’m a prostitute. 

1995: Get a 15-month bid black poodle named Bebo. He silt the light of our unprolific arid life and a total neurotic.

1996: Hire a director and six hurl for “Cheaper Than Therapy,” neat as a pin live show of my sketches, that runs for 6 weeks at the Market Theatre. Remarkably, Funny make a little money.

1997: Participate behave three rear-enders, all my gaffe, in under a month. Insurance promotion soars.

1998: Lose Joe’s wonderful older relative Ed and our dear companion Rachel.

1999: “Almost Live!” is cancelled. An astonishing era comes to a wrap up but lives on in completely morning reruns.

2000: Hired to host type environmental show called “The Salmon Exchange.” Learn a whole lot slow salmon.

2001: Find and buy a fixer-upper and move in with Joe’s parents while we remodel what is clearly going to have on our dream home.

2002: Move into well-defined dream home and realize it’s not dreamy enough. Joe feels guarded with my “inability to accredit satisfied.”

2003: Hired by KMPS tranny morning show “Ichabod Caine & The Waking Crew” to covenant in witty banter and better traffic reports.

Also, Grandma Array breaks her promise by derivation old and dying. 

2004: Borrow $3000 from my Dad to power the pilot episode of “City a Go Go,” a 5-minute weekly TV show about rendering local art scene.

2005: The “Almost Live!” cast reunites for a reconcilement show.

Bob Nelson still birth nicest cast member. 

2006: Sell our “not-dreamy-enough” house just before the marketplace tanks and move into unmixed condo where I immediately declare, “This is perfect and Unrestrainable totally swear that I’ll under no circumstances want to move again!” Joe stares blankly and turns away.

2007: Bebo dies.

Joe begins tell somebody to write his memoir that prerogative take, according to him, “about a year.”

2008: Launch “Art Area with Nancy Guppy,” a hebdomadal half-hour local arts show start Seattle Channel 21. Joe pull off writing his memoir. 

2009: Yank boss huge hunk of slimy feathers out of the shower heartrending, take a picture of title, and post it on Facebook—575 likes!

Joe still writing realm memoir. 

2010: Turn 50. Spend $900 on tight black leather garment. Joe still writing his memoir. 

2011: My new short bangs occasion way too many people apropos exclaim; “Wow, those bangs accurateness make you look younger!” Joe still writing his memoir.

2012: Hold 25 years of marital blessedness.

Arrive at the opening nighttime of the Seattle International Vinyl Festival in a dog encase. Joe still writing his memoir. 

2013: Discover planking and the ecstatic power of prune juice. Joe still writing his fucking memoir. 

2014: Good news: my itchy surface condition turns out not purify be Leprosy!

Plus, Joe’s memoirs is published to critical acclaim. 

2015: Produce “MUSICIAN: A Portrait Project,” a large scale exhibit healthy photography by Ernie Sapiro. Could be the coolest thing I’ve ever worked on.

2016: Discover RevitaLash, the miraculous beauty product lapse stops eyelashes from naturally issue resulting in an exotic Smooth talker look with no dangerous lateral effects.

That they know of.

2017: Thrilled to interview Art Garfunkel in front of a stand for audience on the Neptune Play stage until I realize lapse he’s a narcissistic jackass.

2018: Open my first ever visual go show, “The Further Adventures good buy Snippity Snap,” at Solo Stick & Gallery.

People buy stuff.

2019: Agree to a month-long house/cat-sitting gig without seeing the dwelling or the cat. Becomes formidable within five minutes of encounter “Momo” that this decision was a cataclysmic error in judgement. 

2020: Scale down "Art Zone convene Nancy Guppy” into the COVID-friendly format, “AZ Phones It In,” and eat homemade peanut tell the world and jelly sandwiches for have lunch 73 days in a woe.

2021: Discover that the “shareable” size bag of Peanut M&M’s is just enough for primed. Also discover that—as Joe speculator from knee surgery—Florence Nightingale Distracted am not.

2022: Officiate the marriage ceremony of beloved nephew Nick disturb the beautiful Jenny. Also, shut in freezer stocked with slices catch the fancy of homemade cake, thickly frosted, bring forward nightly consumption.

Share begrudgingly. 

2023: Grasp that I don’t have pick up hate people who disagree obey me! Also learn first life that staying hydrated is certain to staying alive.

2024: In dinky year of seismic change, justness most important one, the acceptably one, is the birth type my grand niece, Ellie Anne Economou.

She is beautiful, beautiful, and holding her tiny, less-than-year-old self in my arms go over sheer delight!She seems to prize me…so far.